Scientific Method Humor

Well, 18 months after relocating to Baby It’s Cold Outside, I’m still unpacking boxes & rifling through forests worth of files. Pay dirt! A few yellowing, crumpled mimeographs (okay, not that old & lacking that distinctive smell – but certainly photocopies of lists tapped out on manual typewriters) that I’ve managed to keep with me for nearly a quarter of a century, so heaven knows the original source. Suffice it to say, not me. The list of useful research phrases can be found online. I’m not sure I’ve seen this explanation for scientific method though:

The cornerstone of modern science is the scientific method. Scientists first formulate hypotheses, or predictions, and then perform experiments to test their hypotheses. There are two forms of scientific method, the inductive and the deductive.

INDUCTIVE:

  • Formulate hypothesis
  • Apply for grant
  • Perform experiments or gather data to test hypothesis
  • Alter data to fit hypothesis
  • Publish
  • DEDUCTIVE:

  • Formulate hypothesis
  • Apply for grant
  • Perform experiments or gather data to test hypothesis
  • Revise hypothesis to fit data
  • Backdate revised hypothesis
  • Publish
  • 2 Comments »

    1. whimple said

      This would be funnier if “Apply for grant” were to be understood to include “Get grant funded”, but that no longer seems to be the case.:/

    2. […] at the finalist bios, only one scientist and no women. I guess deductive reasoning would tell us women scientists can’t […]

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